Christmastime in Dysfunction Junction
Merry Christmas. Or rather, merry day-after-Christmas. I suppose if I were Canadian, it would be...
Dec 26th
Don’t say I never cared.
Dec 23rd
“Boring damed people. All over the earth. Propagating more...”
— Charles Bukowski, writer,...
— Charles Bukowski, writer,...
Dec 23rd
You, social media guru. Yeah, YOU....
You know what really pisses me off? When people try to attach some utilitarian purpose to the...
Dec 23rd
The ex-boyfriend club
There must be something about my personality that attracts emotional fuckwits. Whether it’s my most...
Dec 19th
Listen
The Kinks “Sunny Afternoon” makes me bop my head. Not too hard, though. Don’t want...
Dec 15th
Listen
City and Colour “Sleeping Sickness”
Proof that there is life after screamo. Though not...
Dec 13th
A Letter to Nancy Grace
Dear Nancy Grace, It appears as though authorities have found the remains of Caylee Anthony. While...
Dec 12th
A Letter to Governor Blagojevich
Dear Governor Rod Blagojevich, I am writing to formally request consideration for the now vacant...
Dec 11th
Poll title reads: “Vaginal Mutilation: For or Against?” The thought makes me squirm....
Dec 11th
Each holiday season, my neighbor puts out a light up alien instead of Christmas lights. Apparently...
Dec 11th
I lost a follower while in the shower. I’d make a joke, but I’m just feeling dejected.
Dec 11th
Want to sit on Santa’s lap. Don’t want to wait in line. Think I’ll go to the bar,...
Dec 11th
Told Yellow Dog to get her toy. Brought it back with a perturbed look on her face. Like I was the...
Dec 11th
For those who have to work late: Just tell your boss to stop punishing you for being heterosexual.
Dec 11th
Haven’t changed my avatar yet today… * glares @joeschmitt * And @benmarvin hasn’t...
Dec 11th
The only thing @benmarvin is impregnating is his keyboard.
Dec 11th
So THAT’s Blagojevich. I thought CNN started airing reruns of Dr. 90210.
Dec 11th
Changed my avatar for @benmarvin ‘s enjoyment and because I rather enjoy messing with...
Dec 11th
I suck at Mad Libs. #twitterfession
Dec 11th
It smells like Chinese food outside. In other news, I no longer have two kittens to give away.
Dec 11th
Huh, Michael Jackson’s glittery glove is for sale. It’s seen more 8-year-old ass than...
Dec 11th
I’ve got my game face on. But no pants.
Dec 10th