I should be more careful about who I...
Douchebag: Can I get a BJ tonight?
Me: Probably. If you ask a tranny REALLY nice.
Douchebag: I'm talking from you.
Me: Oh. Meh. Probably not.
Douchebag: Please!
Me: Suck your own dick!
Douchebag: Just help me out...
Me: Oh, fine.
Douchebag: So you will?
Me: Yeah... Not really.
Douchebag: Dammit, just help me out and be serious!
Me: I'm not going to suck you off because you "need help". Pfft!
Douchebag: Why the hell not?
Me: Because I don't really know you and I don't know where your dirty junk has been.
Douchebag: NM then.
Me: Nevermind indeed. I'm not a booty call girl, FYI.
Douchebag: Your being a bitch.
Me: Yeah, probably. And rightly so, I believe. When in the history of vaguely knowing you have I ever given indication that I's perform any sex acts on you?
Douchebag: I'm just going to delete your bitchyness.
Me: Right. Or you could try to be decent. Either one.
Douchebag: Well I made my choice i you can't give a simple BJ.
Me: Yeah, well good luck trolling Craigslist. Watch out for the ones with penises. Or don't.
Douchebag: Good luck being single and unhappy for the rest of your life.
Me: Right. We done here yet?
Dec 3rd