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I am a ray of sunshine - starting fires and causing cancer.

A jack of all asses.

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Mission Statement

To be the best Internet jackass I can be and provide customers with unparalleled service in a completely non-sexual way.

Disclaimer

The content of this blog is a celebration of irreverence. Its purpose is to entertain, connect and serve as a forum for my ranting, grumbles and over-sharing. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions of my employer, parents, grandparents, civilized society, most animal species or myself when not menstruating. Quite frankly, they are the product of a deeply disturbed mind. In short, this blog is not for human consumption. If ingested, induce vomiting.

Following

2 September 14

thefandomtolllbooth:

antoinetriplett:

jolivet:

spaceman-v-spiff:

nescientes:

novacayyn:

carry-on-my-otp:

If Stuntmen from the old movies don’t have your full respect then I just don’t know what to say to you

l tried really hard not to reblog this

Yeah, it is indeed really hard not to reblog a fucking thing.

Can we all agree that the man in the first gif is the manliest man in the world?

Are we just going to all silently acknowledge that the last guy is clearly dead and that we just saw him die. 

HOLD UP FOR A SECOND

ALL OF THESE GIFS ARE ONE MAN

THE SINGULAR BUSTER KEATON

WHILE FILMING THE GENERAL

HE SNAPPED HIS NECK ON THE RAILROAD TIES AND WENT HOME AND ICED HIS BODY

AND CAME BACK FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY

HE ONCE GOT HIS HIP RIPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET BY A MALFUNCTIONING ELEVATOR AND WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH HIMSELF FOR BEING INJURED

HE ONCE HAD TO FALL 100 FEET DOWN A WATERFALL INTO A NET

A STUNTMAN TESTED IT AND BROKE BOTH LEGS AND DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER

BUSTER DID THE STUNT ANYWAY AND LANDED WITHOUT A SCRATCH

IN ‘THE HIGH DIVE’

BUSTER DID A TRICK DIVE THROUGH A CARDBOARD DECK THAT WAS CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE THE REAL DECK

ONLY HE COULDN’T TELL FROM 100 FEET UP WHERE THE CARDBOARD STOPPED AND THE REAL DECK STARTED AND THERE WAS ONLY LIKE A THREE FOOT MARGIN FOR ERROR

AND WHEN HE HESITATED A SUDDEN BREEZE LITERALLY KNOCKED HIM OFF THE DIVING BOARD AND HE HAD TO JUMP ANYWAY

AND HE MISSED THE REAL DECK BY LESS THAN A FOOT BUT HE MADE IT

IN THE SECOND GIF HE’S RECREATING SOMETHING THAT THE ACTUAL GENERAL PURSUERS HAD TO DO IN THE CIVIL WAR

IF HE MISSES THAT TIE

THE TRAIN WILL BE DERAILED AND HE WILL DIE IN THE EXPLOSION

IN THE THIRD GIF AN ENTIRE HOUSE IS FALLING HE HAS ONE TAKE AND IF HE HAS NOT DONE THE CALCULATIONS CORRECTLY HE WILL BE CRUSHED

HE HAS AN INCH-WIDE MARGIN ON EACH SIDE

AND THE HOUSE LITERALLY BRUSHES HIS LEFT SHOULDER ON THE WAY DOWN

YOU CAN SEE HIS LEFT ARM JUMP BECAUSE HE’S FLINCHING FROM THE PAIN

THAT LAST GIF

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT JUMP

HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL AND THEY HADNT PLANNED FOR IT

BUT HE SURVIVED

BUSTER KEATON SURVIVED 100% OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED LESSER MEN INCLUDING WWI, TORNADOS, HOUSEFIRES, ALCOHOLISM, BROKEN NETS, CRUSHING DEPRESSION, THE DEPRESSION ITSELF, THE MCCARTHY WITCHHUNTS, THE END OF SILENT CINEMA, AND ABOUT 900 MORE OF THE STUNTS YOU SEE ABOVE

BUSTER LIVED TO BE 70 YEARS OLD

FATHERED LIKE FOUR KIDS AND EIGHT GRANDKIDS

HE CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF ALL THAT

THINKING THAT LIFE WAS GOOD AND PEOPLE WERE WONDERFUL

BUSTER KEATON IS NOT JUST A STUNTMAN

HE IS A GODDAMN SAINT

BUSTER KEATON’S PARENTS WERE PART OF A TRAVELING SHOW.

THEY WERE ACROBATS.

THEY TOOK BABY BUSTER UP HIGH IN THE AIR WITH THEM.

THEY DROPPED HIM.

LUCKILY SOMEONE WHO WAS STANDING UNDER THEM CAUGHT BABY BUSTER.

THAT MAN WAS HARRY HOUDINI. 

HARRY HOUDINI SAVED BUSTER KEATON’S LIFE.

if you don’t think that’s the coolest shit you can get right out.

Reblogged: sonnyjohl

Posted: 9:57 PM
crappytaxidermy:

Today, something called “Sewer Barge Wally” showed up in my inbox with no explanation.
Thanks, JustinAlanArnold.

crappytaxidermy:

Today, something called “Sewer Barge Wally” showed up in my inbox with no explanation.

Thanks, JustinAlanArnold.

Reblogged: crappytaxidermy

Posted: 8:39 AM

Back to Work

Going back to work after 10 days off is hard. 

On a normal day, I don’t want to be here. Today is torture.

1 September 14
sixpenceee:

Italian special force soldier after 72 hour battle in Afghanistan

School for black civil rights activists. Young girl being trained to not react to smoke blown in her face, 1960

Disability activists abandon their wheelchairs and mobility devices and crawl up the 83 stone steps of the U.S. Capitol Building demanding the passage of the American with Disability Act, March 12, 1990.

A south Korean man cries as his brother is on a train back to North Korea. Separated by the war, they have not seen the other since 1950. They were allowed to see each other for three days, but one will go back spending life in luxury, and the other in hard labour

 The Mocambo night club in East Hollywood, a white’s only club, was the most popular dance spot around but would not book Ella because she was black. Marilyn, who adored Ella Fitzgerald and her music, called the manager and demanded that they book Ella immediately

Portrait of Istvan Reiner, taken shortly before he was killed in Auschwitz

Werfel, a 6 year old orphan from Austria has just been given his first pair of new shoes by the American Red Cross,1946.

The last Jew of Vinnitsa

Susan B. Anthony in 1872 getting beaten and arrested for trying to vote when it was illegal for women to do so.

Until the mid-60s, the Aborigines came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an Aborigine meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.

Here’s a link to 75 iconic pictures of the 21st century
I hope you guys learned and teared up from this as much as I did. 

sixpenceee:

Italian special force soldier after 72 hour battle in Afghanistan

School for black civil rights activists. Young girl being trained to not react to smoke blown in her face, 1960

Disability activists abandon their wheelchairs and mobility devices and crawl up the 83 stone steps of the U.S. Capitol Building demanding the passage of the American with Disability Act, March 12, 1990.

A south Korean man cries as his brother is on a train back to North Korea. Separated by the war, they have not seen the other since 1950. They were allowed to see each other for three days, but one will go back spending life in luxury, and the other in hard labour

 The Mocambo night club in East Hollywood, a white’s only club, was the most popular dance spot around but would not book Ella because she was black. Marilyn, who adored Ella Fitzgerald and her music, called the manager and demanded that they book Ella immediately

Portrait of Istvan Reiner, taken shortly before he was killed in Auschwitz

Werfel, a 6 year old orphan from Austria has just been given his first pair of new shoes by the American Red Cross,1946.

The last Jew of Vinnitsa

Susan B. Anthony in 1872 getting beaten and arrested for trying to vote when it was illegal for women to do so.

Until the mid-60s, the Aborigines came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an Aborigine meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.

Here’s a link to 75 iconic pictures of the 21st century

I hope you guys learned and teared up from this as much as I did. 

Reblogged: sonnyjohl

Posted: 1:08 PM

lindstifa:

Fart School for the Gifted

Best episode of any TV show ever.

(Source: givetheimperiuscurseatry)

Reblogged: lindstifa

31 August 14
That stupid bridge for jerks photobombed my picture of Bruce looking studly and shit.

That stupid bridge for jerks photobombed my picture of Bruce looking studly and shit.

Posted: 6:37 PM
I think the Mogwai missed us.

I think the Mogwai missed us.

Posted: 12:41 PM
Homeward bound. (at Southwest Airlines at LAX)

Homeward bound. (at Southwest Airlines at LAX)

29 August 14
His anus. (at Griffith Observatory)

His anus. (at Griffith Observatory)

Posted: 6:02 PM
btothed:

Hollywood fierce.  (at Griffith Observatory)

Pretty much.

btothed:

Hollywood fierce. (at Griffith Observatory)

Pretty much.

Reblogged: btothed